Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Planks And Specks, Vol. 2

Recently, no fewer than four of my Facebook friends posted a link to this comic (there are some bad words in it, so follow at your own risk) :

How To Suck At Your Religion

I won't copy it into my page because 1.) I don't like it, and 2.) I don't want to get in any kind of legal trouble.  So, you can follow the link.

I take issue with this for a number or reasons but, chief among them is the inherent hypocrisy of it in the first place.  Drawing up a comic, or any other form of expression, couched in the delivery and language that this is, taking (mostly) Christians to task for being hateful and judgmental, is blatantly hypocritical.

Here's the deal, Atheists (or is it "atheists"?  Is it capitalized?) - we all get that you don't believe in God, Allah, Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Yoda, etc. ad nauseum.

We believe in something that you don't. We get it. We really do. However, taking every possible opportunity in your lives to lambaste others for their beliefs doesn't really make you right. It just makes you kind of a jerk. If you're going to call theists judgmental and hateful and pushy, maybe you should take a little more care that you don't exhibit these same traits yourself.

That's what gets me. The hate directed towards telling theists how hateful they are. It's a real "fight fire with fire" approach, and I don't think it really accomplishes anything.

Maybe that's what I'm so bothered about: What are you trying to accomplish? Are you trying to convince theists that you're right? Has a hateful theist won you over? No? I didn't think so. Is it some masturbatory reflex to get other atheists to pat you on the back and tell you how clever you are and how you really stuck it to the Christians? Are you so sad inside that you need that validation?

Tolerance.  Tolerance and diversity.  That's all you scream about.  The Christians are SO hateful because they say that I'll go to Hell if I don't sign on with their Imaginary Sky Daddy.  Yet, you can't have an honest discussion about it without resorting to ridicule.  You want tolerance?  Practice a little.  And that free-thinking you so value?  Why do I have to freely think exactly what you think in order to not be ridiculed?  Guess what?  I used to be a militant atheist, just like you.  Free thinking led me to faith in Jesus Christ.  Um, is it not supposed to work that way?  Did I do it wrong?  Geez.

There's more to say here, but I'm tired and want to close this before it gets way too long.  I'll close with this question:

When did our egos get so fragile that we can't tolerate anyone who doesn't think exactly the way we do?

Saturday, July 21, 2012

This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things!

I just returned home from an amazing trip to Israel.  For 10 days, a pretty large subset of my church family toured (what felt like) pretty much the entire country.  I had an amazing time and, as a Christian, got to visit some very important locations from both the Old and New Testaments, with a lot of non-Biblical stuff mixed in, just because it's pretty cool/educational/etc.  It's also phenomenal to see, first-hand, how the various Middle Eastern cultures live and work together.  Politically, it's a pretty big mess but, in the day-to-day, it's largely stable and full of people who would really like to go the rest of their lives not killing each other.  If you get a chance, you should go.

One thing really bothered me, though.  It's been scratching at my brain a little since I've been here in Europe, but now it's honestly become a full-blown issue for me.  My problem is this:

How does the Catholic Church justify its modus operandi?

Please, allow me to explain with a fun pictorial.  Here is Exhibit A:


This is the site, to include actual walls and excavated rooms, of the church that Peter started up after the crucifixion of Christ.  If you recall, immediately following the crucifixion, being (what would soon be known as) a Christian was a dangerous thing.  I mean, look, they just nailed up the head guy!  The remaining disciples, etc, were in hiding.  This tiny little room was where the first meetings were held as the Church tried to regroup and get its collective balance.





The site is found - awesome.  What a great opportunity for Christians to come and see the roots of where all of it began, right?  Well, sure, until the Catholic Church swoops in, buys the site, and builds a flying saucer right on top of it!






The sad part is that this is actually tasteful compared to some of the other sites.  Exhibit B, The Church of the Holy Sepulchre, the supposed site of Christ's crucifixion (Golgotha) and resurrection:




Seriously.  It looks like Liberace exploded in here.  What I find interesting is that there is no archaeological evidence that this is the actual site for any of the events leading up to Christ's crucifixion.  The Catholic Church bought this site and said, "OK, everyone.  This is the spot.  You know, because we say so".  They slap a bunch of marble and gold in it and it's the spot.

The very worst is that they've utterly erased any trace of anything in the  site that could possibly be used to verify their claim.





So, the part I'm having trouble wrapping my head around is that this is a religion, right?  Granted, they don't have the greatest track record, what with the Crusades and the odd Inquisition here and there.  But they can put that behind them and show how they've moved on.  Maybe they've put their thumbscrews in a long-forgotten cabinet in a long-forgotten basement, but this wholesale appropriation of historical sites is unfathomable to me.

Again, this is a religion, supposedly based upon the teachings of Christ and His followers.  When I look at the opulence on display, and how they plunk a church down on every holy site they can gain access to, I have a difficult time believing that this is an organization that is, in any way, concerned with getting people right with God so that they can go to Heaven.  Instead, I see an organization that is entirely concerned with saying to the world, "Look at me!  Look at how rich and powerful I am!".   When I look at these monuments to ostentatiousness (spell-checker is mad at me), I can't help but wondering how much good could be done if the money and resources went to the needy instead of to phallus-waving.  It really turns my stomach.

If they could say that they weren't doing this anymore, and were just maintaining the already-established sites, I could sort-of give them a pass.  But, they aren't.  The Vatican is, as we speak, trying to buy the room where the Last Supper was held.  The room has already been altered enough, since it's been alternately a chapel, a synagogue, and a mosque, depending on who's been in charge at the time.  Thankfully, the Israeli government is refusing the sale.

I know that the Catholics get upset every time Lady Gaga or someone uses Catholic imagery in a blasphemous music video, but it seems to me that the Catholic Church devolved into self-parody a long, long time ago.  I mean, if you think about what a church should be like, and what this one is currently like, I can't think of anything more ripe for satire and parody.

And, that's not to say that Protestants, Jews, Muslims, or Buddhists are completely in the clear on this, either.  But, cast your eyes to that first picture.  That's a real church, in the model of Christ.  It was held in someone's home with a group of dedicated believers, who wanted nothing more that to spread the Gospel and take care of widows, orphans, and the sick.  That's the model, people!  Not gold-plating everything that's nailed down.

I hope the tone of this isn't too biting.  I tried to keep it more or less civil, but I'm pretty upset about it, as a general concept.  We're all doing it wrong, and it seems, to me, that Catholicism is the worst offender.

I guess the silver lining is that this is really causing me to do some soul-searching on how I "do church" so, at least, I can thank them for that.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Planks And Specks

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?  Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  --Matthew 7:3-5

I am a Christian.

This is an important preface to today's topic.  I feel that, a lot of time, people like to criticize people with whom they have nothing in common, therefore lack any kind of empathy with them.  Atheists criticize theists.  Republicans criticize Democrats (and OH SO vice versa).  Chocolate criticizes peanut butter.  It's a madhouse, and everyone thinks that their own opinion is the only one in the world that matters, feelings and thoughts of others be damned.  My problem with this - and I'm almost certainly guilty of it myself, and need to try very hard to stop - is that by criticizing groups with which you have no affiliation robs you of perspective necessary to formulate a good argument.  You can very easily, wholeheartedly, nay-say, but I think you lack a decent foundation for debate.

I think our energies would be better spent dealing with our own mess, either personally, or as a collective.  It's very difficult to change others.  Seriously, think of the last time that someone screaming at the top of their lungs really changed your mind.  Take a minute.  It's OK.  I'll wait.  Got one yet?  Were you walking past a Westboro picket line and suddenly exclaimed, "You know what?  You're right.  I bet God really does hate homosexuals!  (yes, I self-censored the f-word.  it's ugly)  Hand me a sign".  Yeah, I didn't think so.

So, where am I going with this?

I've noticed that most non-believers' problems with Christians, completely aside from Christianity, is that many of us come off as judgmental, bigoted, loudmouth idiots who are trying to force their views on others.  Largely, I think that's an unfair stereotype, perpetuated by a minority of loudmouth idiots.  Come to think of it, look at a lot of our stereotypes.  How many of those are based on a minority of loudmouth idiots?  Since I've moved to Germany, I've come to know a number of Muslims.  Guess what - none of them has ever tried to blow me up for being a Christian or an American.  In fact, every single one of them was/is a delight to be around.  Did you know that for every ONE Christian who will bomb an abortion clinic, there are literally thousands who would like nothing more than to see you alongside them in Heaven and, in the meantime, share a table full of Mexican food and a few large glasses of sweet tea with you?  It's true.

However.

The loudmouth idiots DO exist.  Today, they landed in my personal circle of influence.  I'm terribly disappointed that they feel that they need to push their views on others.

In my relationship with Christ, I desire authenticity above all else.  My favorite person in the Bible is the second thief, crucified alongside Christ.  Grab a Bible and read Luke 23:40-43.  That guy is my hero.  He's like the perfect Cliff's Notes version of our salvation story.  He admits his sin, confirms Christ, and is told - by Christ Himself - that he will be with Him in Heaven.  Seriously, it brings tears to my eyes every time I read it.

The key part of that is that this thief admits that he is guilty - that he is the broken one.  Certainly not the kind of guy that would try to pretend he was something he was not.  Also not the kind of guy that would compare your life to his and, finding yours lacking, would attempt to force you to emulate his.

To close this already-too-long post, my points are two-fold:

1.  For the Christians: attend to your planks.  You look like a jerk and ruin your witness, and the witness of others, when you don't.

2.  For everyone else: we're not all like that.  Most of us just want to love you and see you sitting with us in Heaven.  If Mexican food and sweet tea is involved, all the better.

Friday, June 29, 2012

I Wrote A Short Story!

I have always loved short stories.  I love the bite-sized-ness of them and how they were always sort of dark or had an interesting twist ending (at least the ones that I read).

Today, I was riding in my car listening to The Paper Chase (as I am wont to do), and I picked up a line that had something to do with animals being drawn to the scent of rotting meat.  I can't recall the exact song - or even the exact album - but that line really jumped at me and I quickly filled in around it.  I may revisit it later and flesh it out a little more.  I intentionally left it a bit rough, with a few ideas on the cutting room floor.

Let me know what you think.

I'd like to present:

Squeeze

"Don't pull the trigger.  Squeeze."

It was one of the more helpul things Dave taught me before he left.  We had been trying to thin out the crowd of zombies around the house.  From the second floor windows, we had a better angle to hit headshots, but I was still wasting a lot of ammo.  Moving targets - even slow-moving targets - are pretty hard to hit.  "Squeeze" helped me conserve some of our precious ammo and reduce the shambling horrors by a few extra.  Of course, that was before we realized that the few that we were able to drop was more than made up for by the noise we were making.  Silence doesn't draw a crowd. We were surprised at how many animals were drawn to the smell of rotting meat.  Dogs (wild and [formerly] domesticated), cats, clouds of crows.  Interestingly, while the crows got fat from eating the zombie carcasses, the dogs and cats would only occasionally try to eat them, drawn as they were by the smell.

Dave is gone now.  He was convinced that he'd do better on his motorcycle, out in the open.  He thought that he could get far enough away from civilization that he'd be able to set up and ride this mess out.  Ann and I tried to argue with him but, in the end, he had made his choice.  He didn't even take much food - just his pistol and some water.  

The worst part was giving up the garage.  When you're barricaded in a house, regardless of size, space is at a premium.  The smaller your available space gets, the more imprisoned you feel.  When you are trying to hold onto your sanity, not feeling caged is very important.

We had sort of mapped the place out into sections and had contingency plans to block off breached areas.  We made a diversion on the other side of the house so that Dave could get the garage door open, but we weren't able to get it closed again in time.  Not with the roar of the bike firing up and him speeding off.  So, the loss of square footage hurt.  Knowing that Dave was leaving gave us time to clear the garage out and bar the interior door before he opened the exterior one - quite a luxury.

Ann and I spent the following days quietly talking and watching from the upstairs windows.  For obvious reasons, the first floor windows were all boarded up.  We would just sit, keeping each other sane, taking turns sleeping, listening and watching for help or trouble.  I know that in some of the zombie stories, they make a big deal about moaning.  Not so, in actuality.  The zombies don't seem to have a need to vocalize.  What really got under my skin was the scratching.  Being inside a zombie-sieged house is a lot like having the world's worst mouse infestation.  They all know that you're inside, and they all want to get to you.  Lacking fine muscle control, they just push and scratch, and scratch, and scratch.  Eventually, we were able to just tune it out, like radio static.  That constant scratching became the soundtrack for our lives.  

It is the new sound - the cracking - that wakes me up.  Ann screams my name and, by the time I am on my feet, she is already halfway downstairs.  They have gotten into the kitchen.  When we barricaded, we thought the locks on the doors would hold.  Not true for this one, I guess.  When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see Ann.  She is swinging her aluminum baseball bat (axes stick in bone) at the intruders when they get a hold of her.  One manages to grab her arm.  I see it bite her, and she turns around, eyes wide, silently pleading at me to help.  I kick her further into the kitchen and slam the door.  I immediately shove the furniture we had set by the door into place and grab the hammer.  She stops screaming before I finish pounding the first nail into the door frame.  When I finish securing the door (scratching, so much scratching), I vomit.

I come upstairs.  I never want to go down there again.  I lock myself in the master bedroom.  I find some earplugs in the nightstand and put them in.  I don't care about listening for them anymore, I just don't want to listen to that constant scratching.  I grab the gun off of the dresser and sit on the bed.

I wonder how Dave's doing, and how far he made it.  I wonder if I should have gone with him.

As I put the gun in my mouth, I think:

"Don't pull the trigger.  Squeeze."

Sunday, June 24, 2012

I Love My (yes, it's mine) Beer Store

I have the very great fortune to live in Germany, right next to the border with the Netherlands.  It's a very narrow strip of the Netherlands, which means that, in about 15 minutes of my house, I can be in Belgium.

You may not know this, but Belgium is responsible for the best beer in the world.

I have discovered a wonderful beer store in Maaseik, Belgium.  It's called Dranken Corstjens.  The staff speaks English (not a certainty over here), and is friendly, helpful, knowledgeable, and generous.  Wow.  It sounds like I should just sign them up for the Boy Scouts, doesn't it?

The store is family-friendly, too.  Because Europe isn't as hung up on enforcing its own morality on everyone, children are welcome in the store, and are treated quite well, in order to give parents the most relaxing shopping experience possible.  The last time I took my girls, they were given a candy, a promotional hat, and a real leather football (soccer ball).  They were also smiled at and encouraged as they explored the area.

The store has a loose policy of giving a free beer glass with every six bottles purchased.  For you Americans,  the concept of the beer glass may be foreign to you, but it's a vital part of properly enjoying a beer.  Each beer company makes their own glass (or glasses), each best suited to their beer (or beers).  I've been starting a bit of a collection so, for the most part, I can serve each beer with its own glass.

But I digress.  I say "loose policy" because it's certainly not hard and fast.  For example, yesterday, I purchased 12 bottles of beer - a light haul as I still have a decent number left from my last trip - and was cheerfully given three glasses, just because I asked.

I was also recommended a tasty, new beer and given a sample to try, in-store.  By sample, I mean entire bottle.  As my friend and I were checking out, the young employee dropped half a crate of assorted bottles on its side.  Luckily, none of them broke, and only one - a LaTrappe Quadruppel, popped open.  The young employee then offered us a glass so that we could drink the injured beer, as he would have to throw it away, otherwise.  The LaTrappe Quad is one of my favorites so, passing the keys to my friend, I agreed to not waste such a delicious beverage.  (un)Fortunately, it was closing time for them, so I had to polish it off pretty quickly.  As a result, I "had to" finish off two beers, on an empty stomach, in the space of about 15 minutes.  The first beer had an alcohol content of 6.5%.  The Quad is 12%.  By the time I left the store, I was three sheets.

This is already bordering on tl;dr, but I just want to add that I desperately wish that my friend, Dennis, was here to go with me.  He would crazy-go-nuts for this place.  My family misses he and his a lot, and it would be great to have them over to share some food, fun, and companionship (and beer!) with.  Especially when our weather is so entirely clement (highs in the mid- to upper-60s) and they live in Alabama (mid- to upper-OMGs).  Hopefully, they'll find their way to Germany while we're still here.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

It's been a long time, it seems

I've missed writing.  I used to keep a blog of sorts on MySpace that I enjoyed visiting, but I haven't touched it in years.  The MySpace account was closed years ago.  Life got in the way.  It seemed like I was always too busy to sit and write anything that was even interesting to me.  I'm taking a bit of a hiatus from videogaming, so this seems as good a time as any to pick a blog back up.

I don't really have a theme in mind yet so, for now, this will just be someplace for me to write things down.  Topics will vary.  I'm a little curious to see if anyone will find this.  We shall see.